Fulfillment

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Hi, I’m looking for fulfillment. Something which will make me feel that sense of human purpose we see in the cinema. That joie de vivre I see on model’s faces in the mall, that raison d’être mums pushing prams radiate. I’ve been looking through electronic alleyways and have yet to find it. Can you help me?

Status: guess what I did this morning? Yup, that’s right. Business as usual. Need to re-rationalise my schedule because this isn’t working and I’m just using it as a way to punish myself.

On a positive note I did clear out some admin stuff this morning which I was unable to address yesterday because of my ISP’s email issues. So, that’s done.

I had a date scheduled for Tuesday which I ended up cancelling. I’m learning to trust my instincts and there was something that just wasn’t right with this person. So, she reached out to me on the dating app (which is very rare), was available to meet right away, and could accommodate me during the day but was unavailable in the evening. Heavily tattooed – to the point that there’s no way she could ever get a “real” job. She told me that she’s “mostly a yoga instructor”. So, what do you do with the rest of your free time, I asked. “I manage a tattoo shop and work with cannabis LPs”, whatever the latter means. And she dances as a hobby, it seems. Legit dancing she tells me.

I don’t know. At the very least she’s seems a bit too “Earthy” for me. I’m not 420 friendly, and after my last experience dating someone who was, I think I’ll pass. My last date used to show up baked to the point that she couldn’t even interact with me. I was basically on the date by myself because she was checked out, the lights were on but no one was home.

Yeah, I think I’ll give this one a miss.

Nikon D3400
1/60 sec
f/6.3
55mm
ISO 1600

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Letting Go

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Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything – anger, anxiety or possessions – we cannot be free.

Status: sitting at the keyboard sweating blood. The morning has just flown by and I’ve accomplished…..not nothing, but less than expected. Stuck on The Visitor story, not sure what happens next. Need a space where I can “close the door” and daydream, still stuck in the corporate day job modus operandi where I need to be head down productive for 8 hours. The creative process is different, still getting used to it.

So, I need to let go of the anxiety I’m feeling over not being word-count productive, relax and let it flow. I can do this.

Above photo is good, but the composition is a little off. I had the camera to low on the tripod. Too much of the platform is in the photo, it’s drawing the viewer’s eye away from the main focus of the photo, which is the train’s light trails. It’s not quite following the rule of thirds, applying that rule would put the train (and Meet Happy monitor) in a better position.

Obsessively checking that damn dating app. The dopamine hit from looking at the pretty user pictures is too great to ignore. Need to consider locking it down so that I can’t check the site. A net nanny type app would be good. Had the laptop in the shop for servicing a few weeks back and was without it for a couple of days. That was of tremendous help to my productivity. Maybe I should consider writing in a notebook instead of a laptop?

That’s not a bad idea.

Nikon D3400
1 sec
f/13
18mm
ISO 100

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