Status: Good

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Status: good. back to my normal self. three and half drinks on a Saturday night and I’m fucked for three days. I’m getting old. Actually, I think it’s more than that because I was having this issue during dry January and February; lack of sleep is also a contributor. So, I guess this is just the way it is now. I’ll just have to deal with it.

Captain Marvel.

Finished. Finally. That was like pulling fucking teeth. Once I complete the current list of (superhero) movie reviews I’m going to retire this section of the blog. I’m not enjoying the process and I think I’ve gotten all I wanted from this. Time to move onto other things.

Photography.

Started processing the photos from Comicon last night. I have a few good ones in there, including the potraits I took for this guy who requested them (and whose name I totally forget). Will continue to process them throughout the week and then drip feed them onto IG. Toying with the idea of creating a new account specifically for cosplay pics to see what kind of response I get.

The weather has started to get much better and it isn’t too cold outside anymore, so I no longer have any excuses to continue working through my shot list (which is growing). Suspect that the best way to approach this is to get it in the calendar and then methodically follow the schedule. Time is growing short, so I don’t have a lot of wiggle room left to procrastinate or put it off because I don’t feel like it. I’d also like to dispose of the camera before I leave, and I’m going to need a little lead time to do that.

It’s a short entry today. I have a few other things percolating in the background, but I think I’ll stop here so that I can spend some time closing off a few items from The Task List.

 

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Mary Jane, Pulling Teeth and Fitness

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Staus: feeling much better this morning. despite the fact that a neighbour, who is above me, was drilling holes in the walls (or the floor) late last night. Briefly entertained the thought of blasting loud music when I got up at 5am this morning, however I would have affected all of my neighbours and not just the offending party, so decided against it. Perhaps it’s just best to leave this one alone. If I respond from a place of spite then I’m just inviting negativity back onto myself. That’s not productive.

Captain Marvel.

Almost finished. I mean, writing this thing has been like pulling teeth, and I’m going to take it as a sign that doing movie reviews is not really my wheel-house. I’m not enjoying the process in any case, and that’s really all I need to know. I feel like it is well reasoned, but is not all that complimentary. Circling back to my point above, I don’t feel the need to submit negativity into The World. That doesn’t feed my soul at all, nor interest me.

Dates.

Picking this back up from yesterday. I honestly didn’t enjoy the Jewish lady’s company at all during the Con on Saturday and kept on wishing that I was alone, doing my own thing. As soon as I start feeling that, or feeling like I’m alone in someone else’s company, it’s the Kiss of Death for the relationship. I fully appreciate that sometimes I don’t engage as much as I should, and you get out of it what you put into it, but yeah, just not feeling this one.

I was also a little turned off by the smell of marijuana smoke which was coming off her. It wasn’t overpowering, but just noticeable enough to push me away. I don’t really have an issue with people who partake, but I just find that people who use it turn me off. Mostly because when they are high they disengage, and I need that engagement to play off. Without the engagement, there is little value in the interaction for me and therefore I’d much rather be doing my own thing.

And that brings me to the coffee date I had on Friday afternoon. Per my previous blog post on the subject, she was exactly what I expected. The company wasn’t unpleasant, I really enjoyed interacting with her, despite the fact she seemed distracted while jumping from topic to topic without taking my responses into consideration. The other thing that jumped out was her profession; I don’t see how someone can afford that kind of lifestyle from working in the fitness industry plus a little personal shopping on the side, all while spending so little time doing it. I suspect that there may be wealthy parents or a benefactor subsidising the lifestyle, or both.

In any case, I enjoyed her company enough to invite her out for dinner on Saturday night. It was good for the most part, but her sense of humour took a little getting used to. It was inculcated into a woman’s natural inclination to challenge a potential suitor, which made it hard to tell when she was being serious or just joking. I have to admit that I felt like she was trying to force me onto the defensive for most of the night, which is a controlling behaviour, and as such it was less an easy back-and-forth get-to-know-you type conversation and more like an interrogation. I can’t say that was the most pleasant experience.

I was dead surprised when she texted the following day and told me that she, “felt energised from hanging out with (me) yesterday and woke up fresh this morning”. Really? Well that makes one of us.

Debating whether I should ask her out again. Not sure I really want to subject myself to another round of interrogation, but I’ll have a think about it.

 

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Photography and Comicon

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Status: groggy. head stuffed full of cotton. I slept heavily and for a long time last night, but still woke up feeling like I had a hangover even though I didn’t drink anything. I had zero forward momentum this morning. I was out and about on Saturday night, but didn’t drink all that much when compared to what I normally imbibe. So, feeling like this on a Monday morning was a little unexpected. When I get back to the island I’m going to retire this aspect of my life.

In the meantime…….

Photography.

Spent the whole weekend at Comicon taking photos and such. I can already see an improvement in the composition of my shots from the ones I took 6 months ago at the FanExpo. I seem to be gravitating more towards portrait style photography of the cosplayers – I like seeing the human element in the costumes versus the actual costumes themselves. I also found that I’m taking more photos of People Doing Things, or street photography as it’s referred to sometimes. Something to keep in mind going forward and as I continue to develop my style.

Another positive from the weekend: one of the guests at the event asked me to take a portrait photo of him and also offered to pay me for it. I declined the money, but took the photos just for the experience. I don’t need the money, but perhaps I can use this as a lead into a paying job? Hard to imagine, but we’ll see what happens. In any case, I’ll process his photos and send them over to him in about a week.

Dating.

Quite a lot to write about here, and I may split this into a couple of entries as I don’t feel like I have the mental capacity to tackle this right now.

The Jewish lady accompanied me to the Con on Saturday and I was really uncomfortable the whole time she was with me. I spent most of the time feeling anxious about whether or not she was enjoying herself – I mean, not many people are up for these kinds of events and I’m okay with this. It just means that I’ll go on my own, which is not an issue.

I have to stop here. Will pick this up again tomorrow…..

 

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Captain Marvel and Neurokinesis

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Nothing lasts. You think it’s going to. You think, ‘Here’s something I can hold on to,’ but it always slips away. 

Status: good. overslept a little bit this morning. not fuzzy, sinuses are clear. My mood: good, not depressed and am generally upbeat.

Writing.

Sitting here struggling to write a review on Captain Marvel. I have that sinking unproductive feeling as I’m staring blankly at the page while intermittently watching the minutes tick past, and then distracting myself with a little YT dopamine loveliness to avoid experiencing that feeling.

I can charitably define it as a hit piece, which I’ve already decided I’m going to post to a number of different review sites. But, I’m hesitating. I’m thinking that this is overly venomous and negative, and at the end of the day I don’t know what I’m going to gain from doing this. Yes, I’m disappointed that they appropriated one of my favourite characters and turned it on its ear with a foreign narrative in order to sell more product. As companies do. However, my two cents won’t change that. Maybe it’s best to concentrate on more productive endeavours.

Fitness.

I’ve been struggling with shoulder injuries for years, tearing both rotator cuffs multiple times and then making numerous mistakes in both treatment and subsequent training regimens which have then perpetuated the injury cycle. Fortunately I’ve learned a little bit along the way, and I now know what to do and what not to do, so it’s not a completely wasted exercise.

Earlier this year I started to feel a pinching in my left shoulder when I raised the elbow above shoulder level. I’m not doing any exercises which require that movement anymore; a result of the frequent injuries and the implementation of preventative measures in order to enable me to workout normally and stay healthy. But I would feel it pinching when putting on a t-shirt or applying deodorant, and while mildly alarming, I did what I normally do: ignore it. As long as I can workout then I’m good, which is not the smartest thing to do.

I finally decided that it’s been long enough and I should probably have someone take a look at it before it get’s worse. (Side note: I need to start rewarding that kind of productive self-care type behaviour.) In any case, I booked an appointment with an RMT I’ve used in the past to see if the issue could be resolved.

Calling Tim an RMT is not the best descriptor. A kinesiologist by training, he’s also certified in a number of different techniques to promote healing and alleviate pain from sports injuries. And he clearly has a passion for what he does. I booked an ART (deep tissue massage) session online, but when I arrived he suggested neurokinetic therapy instead, explaining that this will permanently solve the problem.

It is honestly a very odd treatment; a combination of light touching, functional movement and viewing cue cards with either an ‘X’ or an ‘=’ sign on it. The end result however far exceeded expectations. At the end of the session, and even now as I write this, the pain is gone and the shoulder is moving freely. Tim explained that the muscles surrounding the rotator cuff had contracted and become “locked” in place which was preventing the shoulder from rotating properly when I moved it in specific ways. The end result of which was the rotator cuff muscle would get pinched between the bones in the shoulder, thus the pinching feeling. By releasing the “locked” muscles, the shoulder was able to rotate properly and therefore was no longer pinching the rotator cuff muscle.

It’s a fkn miracle. I’m so impressed with the treatment. I don’t know what I’m going to do when I move back to the island, because I’m pretty sure they don’t have this level of (cutting edge) sports/physical therapy there.

Photography.

Finished processing the food photos from my visit to The Chase last Saturday night. Other than the desert, the food wasn’t very photogenic. Despite my poor photography skills the end results were passable, but not great. I’m beginning to suspect that I don’t have the right lens for this kind of photography, but a poor workman blames his tools, so I’ll take it as a learning experience. I’m likely not going to post these to IG as I don’t think they’re good enough, but I will put them on YT for completeness’ sake.

Nikon D3400
1/80 sec
f/3.5
18mm
ISO 1600

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Slowly Making Progress

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My alone feels so good, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude.

Status: good. better than yesterday, but procrastinating heavily this morning. I was awake at 2:30 am and couldn’t get back to sleep, so gave up and decided to start my day at about 4pm. Trying to work through a few items on the task list before I run out of steam, which typically happens when I get up so early.

Writing.

Not making great progress on this front, and I think I need to rededicate myself to the task. The process which I had in place before was working effectively, so I just need to pick that up again and drive this forward (which makes it sound less enjoyable than it actually is).

I received the edits on Weaver short story from the Editor over the weekend. Fully admit that I haven’t looked at it, and I’d like to start working on that today. The other item I have on the task list is completing the summary page for The Patriot story and then I can start circulating it around to publishing companies for feedback.

Photography.

Did some cost analysis this morning on buying a new PC in my current location versus waiting until I arrive at the next place before purchasing it. Along with the new camera equipment I’d like to start using Photoshop proper, or at least in tandem with Lightroom, and I need a more powerful PC for that. Surprisingly, it’s not that much more expensive here than there, but I think this is due to the sales which are going on right now.

The other issue I’m running into is on the warranty and support side. If I buy something here (or online from an unauthorised dealer like eBay or Amazon) and then transport it across international lines, I’ll lose the warranty. To get access to it, I’d need to ship the unit to someone here who would then have to get it serviced on my behalf. I think that’s more trouble than it’s worth and it may be best if I source a PC from a company which will provide support in my new location.

I also had another look at the system requirements for using Photoshop and I think my current rig is passable, at least in the short term. I’ll need to source a new PC eventually, but at least with this knowledge in hand there’s no pressure to pull the trigger on a more powerful rig now and I can look at pushing this out until later in the year. At the very least, it may be best start using it on my current PC and see if it meets my needs. If the answer is yes, then I’m good. If not then I’ll have a good idea what I need to take that next step and can then source it accordingly.

That’s another item completed from the task list.

Nikon D3400
1/80 sec
f/3.5
18mm
ISO 3200

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Poor Start

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Beautiful things happen when you distance yourself from negativity.

Status: good. awake at 3:30am and then couldn’t get back to sleep. Drifted off just as the alarm rang, hit the snooze button and then slept for another hour and a quarter. Good grief. Need to work on recovering from poor starts like that. Was able to accomplish a few things this morning, but nothing of substance (I think), and the writing……

Writing.

Poor week for writing. Period. Because I didn’t know what to do next, I gave up yesterday and started working through the task list. Was able to tick a few boxes, but unfortunately this wasn’t one of them. And the poor start to the day today didn’t help. Need to regroup and try again. That said, I am going to set this aside and bang out a few items off the task list rather than let this hold me in place. Maybe I’ll be able to build some momentum this way.

Photography.

Finished processing all my photos from the last few weeks yesterday. I have a few good ones, others are WTF, but that’s okay. It’s all a learning experience. Will be going to The Chase on Saturday night, so good opportunity for food photos. And then will be working with a model on Sunday afternoon – two locations: street and boudoir. Curious to see how this plays out.

Did some cost analysis yesterday on buying new photography equipment here versus waiting until I arrive at the next place before purchasing it. If I wait, I’ll save almost $700, which is nothing to sneeze at and given the cost of the equipment, it’s a significant enough savings which will provide me with enough to spend on peripheral equipment like tripods and such.

Captain Marvel.

With a certain amount of trepidation, I’m going to see this movie on Saturday. Cautiously optimistic that it’ll be okay. Based upon the events in Avengers: Infinity War and what I know of the comic books (which is significant), Marvel is going to have to make some significant changes to the character’s origin, backstory and journey to get it to fit into the movie universe they’ve created. There was a bit of foreshadowing in Infinity War, which is in line with the comic, so I’m aware of one aspect likely to appear in the movie. But the rest is up for grabs. This is unlike any other Marvel movie to date, they’ll essentially be creating an almost brand-new character for the big screen, with the possibility that the only thing recognisable will be the character’s name. Everything else might be different.

Couple that with some rumblings I’m hearing about the potential political leanings of the movie and I’m not sure that I’m part of the target audience for this film. I just want to see an awesome Marvel superhero movie based on the comics I read as a kid. I have little interest in patronising someone’s self indulgent opportunity to do a little axe grinding. Which is what the filmmakers did with Black Panther.

Ok, let’s get on with it……

Nikon D3400
1/100 sec
f/3.5
18mm
ISO 100

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Heaven and Hell

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The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.

Status: good. I mean, just about ok. Overslept this morning. A holdover from three nights in a row of poor sleep. Suspect that this is what trips me up more than anything. It’s one of the things I didn’t miss from alcohol consumption: a poor night’s sleep. The other thing I didn’t miss was the sinus congestion. It’s Wednesday and I’m still congested from drinking on Saturday night. If I remember correctly it takes a full week for my sinuses to normalise, and I’m too stubbourn to take a decongestant (I’m also too stubbourn to take WordPress’ suggestion of using the American spelling of the word ‘stubbourn’). Given these two consequences, are they worth the price of my Saturday night dalliances?

Probably not.

Writing.

Procrastinating because I don’t know where to start. I need to finish off the summary page for The Patriot story and then I can start looking for a way to publish it. But, I’m struggling with the summary because I’m not completely clear on how the story progresses through the three act structure. Which is disconcerting given I’ve written the first issue (or the beginning of the story), and I have a general idea of what it’s about, but I don’t know what happens next. Which is making it difficult for me to complete the synopsis and issue summaries (that make up the story arc through the three acts).

I’ll figure it out, but in the meantime I’m a little stuck. Maybe I should just work on something else rather than allow this to hold me in place.

On a separate note, I submitted the short story ‘Weaver’ to the editor, as promised. It’s out of my hands now. Feedback should take about a week or two, I think?

Photography.

Booked the model for Sunday afternoon. I have four shots on the shot list – two street scenes at Union, and two boudoir shots, which might be a bit ambitious for a 2.5 hour shoot given they are in separate locations and there will be some travelling to get from one to the other. Let’s see how this plays out and what lessons I’ll learn from the experience. I can then apply those to the next session, if there is one.

Dating.

I have a full schedule this coming weekend. Coffee dates on Saturday afternoon and Sunday noon. No great read on either one, however the Saturday date is the one who cancelled on me last week, and I think she is the one who explained that a medical issue forced a career change? Unless she was a cage fighter in a previous life, I’m not sure what that means.

By way of introduction, I sent a section from this journal to the Sunday date as part of my initial correspondence with her. It was met with an extremely favourable response. I mean, she REALLY liked it. During our subsequent back-and-forth I can see that she is projecting idealistic hopes onto me as a result. I’m flattered that she liked the piece of writing and that she is super interested in meeting me, but I’m also slightly concerned that I won’t live up to her expectations.

I don’t live up to my own expectations, how am I going to live up to yours? Disappointment, thy name is online dating.

Nikon D3400
1/100 sec
f/7.1
18mm
ISO 100

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