Monday Thoughts

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“Our life is what our thoughts make it” — Marcus Aurelius

Status: jesus, i’m tired. I’m more tired than I should be. I didn’t have a big weekend and I’m still not drinking at all. Was out Saturday night, but got a good night’s sleep. Or so I thought. Spent most of the day yesterday reading. I’ve slipped into lethargy, and perhaps it’s because I let my schedule slip and didn’t do any writing over the weekend? I’m thinking maybe I should do a little bit every day. Which brings me to….

Meditation.

I’ve arrived at the section of the How To book which addresses this very thing: lethargy. Timely. The Universe is sending me a message, heh. In any case, I’ll incorporate this into days where I’m feeling lethargic like this. I always blamed it on the hangover, but I’m seeing that’s actually not the case. So, what’s the cause? Don’t know at this stage. Need to explore this a little further.

Tenant.

Spent my Sunday getting abused by my tenant via email. The emails are now pure noise and the threats are getting more direct. I’ve scheduled the maintenance guy to access the unit this week to remediate the issues, or perceived issues, but that knowledge hasn’t placated the tenant at all. They only seem interested in making me feel uncomfortable. This is also something which is addressed in the meditation How To book, so this is also timely. The Universe, dropping knowledge, heh. Need to focus on the techniques in the book which show me how to separate signal from noise.

Date.

This was better than expected. During the course of the evening she told me that she had lied about her age on the dating app. You and everyone else on there, I thought to myself. It didn’t faze me, I’ve come to expect it from folks who pass a certain milestone in life. In any case, it was a great meal and great restaurant. She recommended it, so I’m super grateful for that. The conversation was pleasant enough; we got along well and there weren’t any awkward pauses or uncomfortable silences. I didn’t get her relationship backstory; I don’t know if she had been married in the past. She did say that she was trying to “put herself out there” after the last relationship ended a few years ago. Gut feel that this is a slight fib, suspect it may have ended more recently than that.

One thing that really impressed me was when I asked for the bill at the end of the evening she turned to the server and asked them to split it in half. I was actually going to pay for dinner, but she didn’t want that. She wanted to pay her own way. There was no belly aching or passive aggressive cold-shoulder punishment like I’ve had in the past when I’ve suggested we split the bill. It was like two friends having dinner and then automatically splitting the bill at the end of the evening, because that’s what you do. I can’t tell you how rare that is, and how refreshing.

I’m not going to pursue this any further, but still, it was a good date.

Nikon D3400
1/100 sec
f/9
55mm
ISO 100

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Walking at Night

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Yes I do enjoy walking at night. The world’s a lot more to my liking then, not so loud, not so fast, not so crowded, and a great deal more mysterious.

Status: grotty. full of phlegm. Woke up this morning stuffed to the gills accompanied by a pressure headache. Suspect that continuing to train plus a normal 7 hour per night sleep schedule is not doing my body’s ability to recover any favours. Struggling to start my day as a result; all I want to do is hunker down with a cup of hot tea and a good book instead of getting on with the day. But, I’m way too stubborn for that. (WordPress you’re forcing me to use American spelling by scarring words with Red Death squiggles when I lean towards the British, and proper, spelling. Damn you.)

Radio silence.

My maintenance person is on vacation for the next two weeks, so I suggested to the tenant that we wait until he returns because he knows the unit and I trust him. Offered to source another maintenance person if they wanted these “issues” resolved sooner than that, but my preference was to wait for my regular guy. The response was: silence. I recognise this behaviour because I’ve employed it myself. Antagonistic, I’m-the-victim type language to start and then when I don’t get what I want I throw all of my toys out of the pen by ignoring you and giving you the silent treatment. Yup, I’m way too familiar with that kind of controlling behaviour. Six days into a new tenancy which is meant to last twelve months. This is going to be a long year. The good news is I don’t have to listen to them bellyache for the next two weeks.

Sexting.

Spent last evening exchanging naughty pics with someone I met on one of the dating apps. I have no intention of meeting her in person. Well, I did at the beginning of the interaction, but as time went on it became apparent that she’s one of these Lost Girls with weak boundaries. I’ve dated way too many of those types of girls. They’re fun for short term dating, but are not long term relationship material (heh, and apparently neither am I). It’s uncanny the way that my dysfunction lines up with their dysfunction and how we can find each other so easily. In any case, now that I recognise what is actually happening, what my programming is doing, I can make an informed choice to either accept or pass. I think I’m going to pass on this one.

Ok, sufficiently warmed up now, best get on with the real writing…….

Nikon D3400
1/60 sec
f/4.8
40mm
ISO 1600

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