Buddhism and Meditation


Be content to seem what you really are.

Status: good. really good. still. But, a little uncomfortable. I’ve been booted from my comfortable working space due to some upgrades and such. This will take about a week to complete. So, I’ve ensconced myself in an Indigo for today, tomorrow will be the Library, maybe. Want to do some reading on Buddhism and Meditation, so I think that will be the best place spend the day .

Burning through a book by Dan Harris called 10% Happier which is about his journey to discover peace of mind/focus through meditation. I started meditating in April of last year, and while I’ve found it useful I think I need to take the next step in order to optimise it for my purposes. He also talks a lot about Buddhism, which is where the meditation comes from, and the whole philosophy around it. I’m intrigued. Not interested in the more mystical aspects, but embracing change and the impermanence of life seems like a good approach. And as a bonus it compliments my interest in minimalism.

My date yesterday texted me 10 minutes before we were due to meet, which was after I left the house, and said that she was running late. No problem, I responded, what’s your ETA? She said, 30 minutes-ish later than our original meeting time. I’m standing in the hallway outside my unit and the elevator has just arrived. I pause. The elevator leaves. I tell her that I have a limited amount of time. She asks if we should reschedule, to which I agree. She then apologises, which I appreciated.

I have to admit: I have zero tolerance for people who are cavalier with my time. I’m trying to be a bit more forgiving and a bit more “zen” about these things, however from past experience this has never been a good sign. If she’s late on the very first date, then this is going to be an ongoing trend. The issue with this is that I’m basically being told that she is the most important person in this interaction, and that my time is not valuable. In other words, she has no respect for my time and therefore has no respect for me. If she has no respect then making a good impression on the first date becomes irrelevant. It’s incidental to the process.

I don’t want to devote time and energy to this situation and this kind of behaviour. So, I accepted the apology and left it at that. If she’s really interested in meeting and it really was an accident then I think she should be the one to initiate a conversation around making arrangements to try and meet again. If she reaches out to me then I’ll agree to meet with her. If not, then I’ll take it as disinterest and therefore will not devote any more time to this. After all, I can make better use of my time with the other options on the table………….

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Even More Christmas


Status: dragging my feet, so it must be Monday. The instant gratification monkey is distracting me this morning, which means I’m not getting on with it.

In any case, I did complete one of the photography projects over the weekend and started post-processing the photos from the completed projects last week. All in all, I have quite a few usable pictures from the last few sessions including some really nice slow shutter speed blur motion captures of the train in the subway. Topped that off with some really nice pictures of a couple of musicians playing Christmas tunes in one of the shopping centres. So, progress.

Carousing around town on Saturday night, stopped into one of the chain restaurants because I hadn’t done any prior planning for the really nice ones. Keep forgetting how they view their frontline staff as salespeople and how they’re trained to engage and relate to customers in order to win their loyalty and keep them coming back. Fair enough, it’s good business to do this. Got quite a bit of attention from one of the female bartenders who saw the camera and kicked off a conversation about photography which ended with a, “you’ll have to show me more of your photographs next time”.

That immediately started me thinking about going back to the restaurant. Well played. I mean, the attention is appreciated and I do like the engagement, but I’m a little bit uncomfortable with being manipulated. You’re playing off my natural instincts to connect with attractive woman in order to drive sales.

I’ll probably go back there in a couple of weeks.

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Status: Good. Ok. Cold lingering, but zen and chill.

I’m not convinced that the meditation is actually helping me anymore. I’m basically drifting for 5 minutes while I go through the guided meditation app, and I think that defeats the purpose. It’s supposed to help me focus, or at least I’m supposed to be focusing on specific things while going through the process and that’s meant to strengthen my ability to be present in the moment during the day. But, not so much. Have I seen some improvement? Yes. So, two choices: set it to the side or lean into it and take the next step. Suspect that I’ll do the latter.

Decided to get back onto the dating apps after a 6 month absence. Realise that it is not the optimal time of year for this, but it felt right and I was ready. Connected with one lady and we quickly agreed to meet for a coffee and chat last night. In the course of finalising plans, she didn’t like the venue I had suggested so she proceeded to be antagonistic and rude. Trying to draw me into conflict. I thought I handled it quite well; I didn’t take the bait, I stayed polite and chill in the face of some really rude texts, and then wished her all the best and luck with her search. A parting barb of invective from her to which I did not respond.

Maybe the meditation is helping after all.

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