Yorkville

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What difference does it make how much you have? What you do not have amounts to much more.

Status: there’s something about working on a Saturday which doesn’t sit well with me. And if this feels like work is it something I really want to continue doing?

I’ve hit a roadblock in the story and I’m not sure what happens next. Fully admit that I’m letting it intimidate me and I’m procrastinating with other things so I don’t have to face it. This is something I’m not great at: when I don’t know how to start The Next Thing, I become listless. Not sure exactly how to get around that one. Mark Manson described how he just started doing something, anything, and the momentum and encouragement from that start brought things into focus and allowed him to power through it.

Perhaps that’s the best way to do it.

I’m sitting on my response to the initial offer provided by the insurance company yesterday. I’ve already told them that I’m “travelling” until the 3rd and therefore I may be a little slow to respond until then. I think this speaks volumes about my interest in the role.

The practical choice is to take the job and engage with it as best I can. It’s a good job, with good compensation and growth potential. I’m covering old ground with this role, but that might not be a bad thing – I can ease myself into it with the familiarity of the landscape. It’ll also give me some breathing room by providing another source of income and giving me additional time to work on the things I really want to do.

I’ll mull it over a bit more, but I think that’s the smart play…..

Nikon D3400
1/30 sec
f/3.5
18mm
ISO 400

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Even More Christmas

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Status: dragging my feet, so it must be Monday. The instant gratification monkey is distracting me this morning, which means I’m not getting on with it.

In any case, I did complete one of the photography projects over the weekend and started post-processing the photos from the completed projects last week. All in all, I have quite a few usable pictures from the last few sessions including some really nice slow shutter speed blur motion captures of the train in the subway. Topped that off with some really nice pictures of a couple of musicians playing Christmas tunes in one of the shopping centres. So, progress.

Carousing around town on Saturday night, stopped into one of the chain restaurants because I hadn’t done any prior planning for the really nice ones. Keep forgetting how they view their frontline staff as salespeople and how they’re trained to engage and relate to customers in order to win their loyalty and keep them coming back. Fair enough, it’s good business to do this. Got quite a bit of attention from one of the female bartenders who saw the camera and kicked off a conversation about photography which ended with a, “you’ll have to show me more of your photographs next time”.

That immediately started me thinking about going back to the restaurant. Well played. I mean, the attention is appreciated and I do like the engagement, but I’m a little bit uncomfortable with being manipulated. You’re playing off my natural instincts to connect with attractive woman in order to drive sales.

I’ll probably go back there in a couple of weeks.

Nikon D3400
1/100 sec
f/3.5
18mm
ISO 1600

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More Christmas

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More Christmas. I love this time of year.

Status: Slept 12 hours last night. Feeling much better. I think I need to get out-and-about tonight; good food, good wine and a celebratory beverage or two are in order. Feel the need to go on a date, but I’ve been pretty hermetic over the last 6 months, so have no prospects in play which means I’ll be travelling solo. Not a problem, that’s how I usually roll.

I had a really good week for writing. Total word count for the seven days, last Saturday to yesterday (Friday), was 3,514 words; 4,265 if you count last Friday. Split between journaling at 1,521 and the short story itself at 1,993. My goal was 2,500 words for the short story, or 500 per day, but I came pretty close during my first real week of this, so I’m going to call it a win. Total short story word count for the eight days is 2,544 and the total number of words in the story is 3,065. My goal is to finish the first draft at 7,000 words, and I’ll aim to do that next week.

Next up: call with my second network contact postponed to Monday, he has an opportunity in Halifax, looking forward to hearing more about it. Call with my first network contact will take place in the New Year, need to firm up the call time. I’m expecting to receive an offer from the company which interviewed me for a third time on Wednesday; thought I might have it by Friday which is giving me second thoughts, perhaps I misread this. No matter though, let’s see how it plays out.

Nikon D3400
1/60 sec
f/3.5
18mm
ISO 1600

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Christmas

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Christmas.

Status: Good. Ok. Cold lingering, but zen and chill.

I’m not convinced that the meditation is actually helping me anymore. I’m basically drifting for 5 minutes while I go through the guided meditation app, and I think that defeats the purpose. It’s supposed to help me focus, or at least I’m supposed to be focusing on specific things while going through the process and that’s meant to strengthen my ability to be present in the moment during the day. But, not so much. Have I seen some improvement? Yes. So, two choices: set it to the side or lean into it and take the next step. Suspect that I’ll do the latter.

Decided to get back onto the dating apps after a 6 month absence. Realise that it is not the optimal time of year for this, but it felt right and I was ready. Connected with one lady and we quickly agreed to meet for a coffee and chat last night. In the course of finalising plans, she didn’t like the venue I had suggested so she proceeded to be antagonistic and rude. Trying to draw me into conflict. I thought I handled it quite well; I didn’t take the bait, I stayed polite and chill in the face of some really rude texts, and then wished her all the best and luck with her search. A parting barb of invective from her to which I did not respond.

Maybe the meditation is helping after all.

Nikon D3400
1/100 sec
f/3.5
18mm
ISO 1600

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Opportunity for Kindness

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Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.

Status: still sick. Lack of quality sleep has left me drifting and indecisive which has resulted in little writing today. Best to pack it in and try again tomorrow, I think.

But, I am going to the gym, and I did get a few things done today. Board meeting this morning, sourced the paint colour codes for my unit, cleaned all of the white borders on my shoes (which was long overdue). And yesterday I was able to complete one more item on the task list which leaves me with two remaining.

So, not entirely unproductive.

Nikon D3400
1/60 sec
f/5.3
46mm
ISO 1600

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Doing Nothing

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The beauty of doing nothing is that you can do it perfectly.

Status: determined. I’m going to try again. I’ll need to make some changes, though. I don’t see the point of following the same path and hoping for different results.

Status on my goals for the week:

  1. complete selling the books – nope. I could insert an excuse, a qualifier here, but I’m not going to. Let’s just call it incomplete.
  2. dispose of extraneous items which no longer have value and are just taking up space – nope. Ditto on the above.
  3. complete the photography projects on my shot list – I actually completed two of these with good results.
  4. interview on Wednesday – completed and it went well.
  5. reach out to select contacts from my network – nope.
  6. And write. Everyday. 500 words per day – I completed 200 words per day, not including today.

One thing I’m not going to do is beat myself up for not completing the task list, that’s counter productive. I’m just going to do a better job of being perfectly imperfect at doing nothing.

Let’s get on with it……..

Nikon D3400
1/125 sec
f/3.5
18mm
ISO 2200

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Rebirth

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For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse.

So collapse.
Crumble.
This is not your destruction.

This is your birth.

Status: murky and muddy. My head’s full of cotton, which is all the result of a poor night’s sleep. Starting in January I’m going to start treating myself a little bit better over the weekend, so that I can reclaim my Monday. I seem to have more bad ones than good ones and I don’t like losing the day to behaviours which demotivate me.

Tasks for the week: complete selling the books, dispose of extraneous items which no longer have value and are just taking up space, complete the photography projects on my shot list, interview on Wednesday, reach out to select contacts from network……

And write. Everyday. 500 words per day is a realistic goal, and that will give me 2,500 words by Friday which is enough for the first draft of the short story to be called complete.

Nikon D3400
1/125 sec
f/3.5
18mm
ISO 2800

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