Horoscope

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My horoscope yesterday:

“A positive attitude is essential today, because if you let negative thoughts enter your mind it could stop you taking advantage of opportunities that are designed by the universe to make you materially and emotionally richer. It’s all good, so be happy.”

I find astrology moderately entertaining and curiously accurate, and cynically I always check yesterday’s installment to see if it was an accurate reading, and this one was very relevant to something that I struggle with on an ongoing basis.

I do wrestle with depression and have a (bad) habit of lending too much weight to the empty portion of the glass, so this is sage advice. And it also fits the above picture which I took quite well.

Now, to put that into practice……..

 

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The Road to Success

accomplishment action adult adventure

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

You are responsible for your success and failure. The sooner you accept and integrate that into your work ethic, the sooner you will start being successful. If you blame others for your failures, you will never be successful.

 

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Horoscope

zodiac cube in grayscale

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

“Reflection isn’t really a passive process; it’s an act that requires bravery and humility. This week, it’s time for you to be honest with yourself, Libra. You’ve been running your life in certain ways that are no longer working, and it’s important that you don’t wait until your hand is forced before you make changes. Show up and strive to be decisive — what you chose now isn’t written in stone, but it is important for your future. Do what needs to be done, my love.”

I am honestly not a big fan of Horoscopes and always view them with a certain degree of scepticism. I mean, the person that wrote this doesn’t know me at all, or my situation, so how could they possibly be in a position to dispense advice?

But, somewhere inside of me I want it to be real. Perhaps I’m looking for some direction, some advice on what to do next (realising that this is the antithesis of the advice provided above). I very cynically read these things after the fact just to see if they’re accurate, and dammit, there is always a kernel of truth to them, or the advice provided is very timely and dovetails quite nicely with current personal events.

And that’s where I currently find myself. I’m going through another period of change, and then this very timely piece of advice presents itself. I’ve been telling myself the exact same thing for some time now: if I don’t make my own choices, then life will make those choices for me. In other words, I need to get in front of it and be more proactive instead of reactive.

Given my current state of play, I knew this was coming down the pipe. I knew that the situation was not sustainable and that I’d have to move onto The Next Thing sooner or later. I was really hoping that it would be later, but all things being equal, now’s the best time to make a change because I think I’ve gleaned all of the value possible from this latest period (stage? phase?).

So, I’m a little late. I stayed at the party just a little bit too long, but I still have options. Now I just need to make a choice and move forward……….

 

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A list of 25 Principles of Adult Behavior by John Perry Barlow

1. Be patient. No matter what.
2. Don’t badmouth: Assign responsibility, not blame. Say nothing of another you wouldn’t say to him.
3. Never assume the motives of others are, to them, less noble than yours are to you.
4. Expand your sense of the possible.
5. Don’t trouble yourself with matters you truly cannot change.
6. Expect no more of anyone than you can deliver yourself.
7. Tolerate ambiguity.
8. Laugh at yourself frequently.
9. Concern yourself with what is right rather than who is right.
10. Never forget that, no matter how certain, you might be wrong.
11. Give up blood sports.
12. Remember that your life belongs to others as well. Don’t risk it frivolously.
13. Never lie to anyone for any reason. (Lies of omission are sometimes exempt.)
14. Learn the needs of those around you and respect them.
15. Avoid the pursuit of happiness. Seek to define your mission and pursue that.
16. Reduce your use of the first personal pronoun.
17. Praise at least as often as you disparage.
18. Admit your errors freely and soon.
19. Become less suspicious of joy.
20. Understand humility.
21. Remember that love forgives everything.
22. Foster dignity.
23. Live memorably.
24. Love yourself.
25. Endure.

 

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Things My Therapist Has Taught Me

Sips of Jen and Tonic

bc425f09027fd13912ac10b6728e4ea3I don’t typically write serious subject matter on this blog, but a few months ago I wrote about my desire to seek therapy for a myriad of issues I’ve faced for years. A woman of my word, I began going almost immediately.

I don’t like talking to friends or family members about my problems so the idea of talking to a stranger about my innermost thoughts really put me off. Luckily, I found someone totally aces on the first try, and she has taught me some very valuable things in our time together so far.

How you feel about yourself is not a democracy.

I would never have described myself as a “people pleaser” until I started seeing her. Now I can’t believe I never saw it before. In every facet of my life I am living for someone else: at work, in relationships, with my family, among friends. No…

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Signs You Or Your Partner Is Emotionally Immature

Reblogged from Yangki Christine Akiteng’s blog: http://torontosnumber1datedoctor.com/blog/emotional-maturity-could-it-be-the-attractive-quality-missing-in-you/

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Emotional maturity is not something most of us look for in a partner. For many of us it’s not even a priority in the qualities we look for. We kind of take it for granted that if you’re attracted to someone then everything will fall into place.

If the relationship is casual and not expected to grow into something long term then emotional maturity or lack of it doesn’t really matter especially if you don’t spend much time together, meet up just for a “good time” and/or are dating several people at the same time.

But if you are looking for something long term, emotional maturity profoundly influences your ability to sustain a relationship.

Differences in the level of emotional maturity or lack of may not be obvious in the early stages of a relationship when everything is wonderful – no obvious differences that cause problems and no serious arguments. You’re at your best and your new man or woman idealizes you and you idealize him or her. But like all good things, this “honeymoon” phase of the relationship which can be anywhere from days to weeks or even a couple of months inevitably ends – as it should. And if you or the other person is emotionally immature, it begins to show in the way you:

  1. Deal with your emotions

People who are emotionally mature are more able to put feelings into perspective before automatically verbalizing or acting them out. They also take responsibility for their every action, word and thought – and the resulting consequences. The ability to self-regulate helps them handle different situations in a better way and cope with difficult times, conflict and frustration in a smarter way.

Those who are emotionally immature on the other hand get tripped up by their own emotions and feelings. They either fall apart (drama, drama, drama), numb out (ignore their emotions and live in a kind of zombie land pretending that they feel nothing) or distract themselves with obsessive behaviours all the while blaming others, society and the universe for their problems or disappointments.

  1. Deal with the emotions of others

People who are emotionally mature understand that the world does not revolve around them. When faced with an emotionally-loaded situation they focus on trying to understand and relate to the other person’s emotions and feelings and the reasons behind them. This helps them better identify the other person’s needs and wants, better solve problems in relationships, connect better and maintain good relationships over time.

Those who are emotionally immature when faced with a similar emotionally-loaded situation become all self-absorbed and entitled. They’ll try to force a resolution by putting a lot of unhealthy pressure on the other person and often become emotionally manipulative, exploitative and even abusive. These behaviours cause the other person to even pull away further making it harder to create and/or maintain a relationship – even a bad one.

So if you’re with someone who you know is into you (forget about that one who just isn’t into you), can’t keep his or her hands off you when you’re together and tells you how much he or she is attracted to you or “in love with you” but will not bother to call or arrange for a date because he or she is avoiding spending “quality” time with you, it might just be that working on your own emotional maturity and learning to communicate your feelings, needs and wants better may be the only thing that’ll save your relationship.

Nobody is comfortable with emotional immaturity – not even emotionally immature men and women. In a relationship where both people are emotionally immature, the emotional immaturity which keeps them together is often times also what they both instinctively resent in the other.

Emotional maturity is even more important with age. Being with someone who looks physically mature but acts emotionally immature is downright frustrating.

 

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How to Stop Being Needy with Women

Reblogged from Fractionation Seduction

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You may be well aware that men hate women who are needy, but did you know that it works the other way, as well? Well, it’s true. Read on.

For starters, you should know that there is a big difference between paying attention to a woman and hanging over her 24/7. Even if a woman is in a relationship with someone, she gets completely turned off when her significant other becomes clingy. This is because neediness and insecurity go hand-in-hand. Yahoo! published a must-read article (which you can read here) that lists 20 signs that can tell if a man is desperate and needy in relationships. If you think you can relate, think things over as to how you tend to become clingy and needy around your girl. Remember, men who are completely confident in their skin and don’t need constant attention from women tend to look more attractive overall.

So, if you want to truly attract a woman, but are a bit needy, then you have to back off a bit for now and follow these tips instead:

Leave the past in the past.

If you think that you are the only man out there who has ever been rejected by a woman, then think again. The truth is that most men the world over have been rejected by women or have tried to get a girlfriend and failed at least once in their lives. So, if you want things to change for you, then you will have to let the past go and leave it be. If you don’t, then you will never have the chance to score a meaningful relationship that is built on trust in the long run.

This means that you have to stop comparing women with one another from now on because every woman is different and every experience will therefore be different, too. If you keep comparing women to other women that you have known in the past, then you are sure to lose what you have in the present in no time.

Live your own life.

If your entire life revolves around your dating life, then you have to start making some changes. Fill your schedule with other things besides meeting women and focus on your interests for a change. Revive your passions and get busy. Women will love you for it!

Get confident.

Most men have confidence issues every now and then, but if your self-confidence is at the ultimate down-low, then it could affect your dating life in the long run. If this sounds familiar, then you have to start changing the way that you see yourself. To do this, start spending more time with your friends and relatives, and absorb the positive things that they say about you. While doing so, take a mental note of all of the positive skills and traits that they mention for future reference. While everyone has their own strengths, your confidence will come from knowing exactly what yours are – remember that.

Being needy is definitely one of the fastest ways to lose your grip on a woman. So, if you want to keep women by your side, work on yourself and the different qualities that women tend to look for in men first. Confidence is one of these qualities – one that can ensure that you stay happy, get the woman you want, and be satisfied with your dating life for years to come.