Status: tired. Was up at 3am, but forced myself to stay in bed until 5am. Not sure why I was up so early. Other than that, I feel good given the lack of sleep. Suspect that I will fade down the stretch, but that’s to be expected.
Anxiety levels: High. Last week my production was not as high as I would have liked. I mean, I’m still in the honeymoon period, but no need to tear the arse out of it. Need to be more productive this week. Feel like I need to be a bit more visible. That should alleviate the anxiety a little. That and meditation.
Suspect that if I want to continue on with this then I’ll need to get up early to devote an hour to it first thing in the morning, and then carve out some space on the weekends. I’m too tired late at night – after work and the gym – to be able to focus effectively. Goal is still three blog posts per week, but I may have to sacrifice this amount so that I can focus on the short stories.
I’m reverting to an old format this morning because it is easier; I only have enough mental energy for word vomit this morning. Yesterday’s post took time (and I still wasn’t completely happy with it, I think it would have been better to let it sit for a day or two and then revisit it for editing); thinking through my particular pathology when it comes to relationships and how this one is different took quite a bit out of me, and I didn’t even put everything into the post that I wanted to include or sufficiently expand on the points I made. Still, glad that I did it (finally). It’s nice to know (it’s nice that she knows) how I feel about this relationship.
Entered my cousin’s kitchen on Sunday and was greeted by the six month old Great Dane puppy Odin, and also a very familiar smell from days long past. Apparently he has taken to medical marijuana as a sleep aid and because he doesn’t smoke, or have any intention of smoking (it), he has processed it into a kind of butter which he spreads on a rice cake before going to sleep.
That was unexpected to say the least. I don’t know that this is a great idea because it is still very illegal here, and I’m also aware that it prevents REM sleep which you need for proper brain function. In any case, it’s his call and not something I really want to participate in.
I can honestly say that this hasn’t been a great Monday. Lack of sleep did me in; it’s left me feeling very unfocused, to the point that I’m splitting my attention across multiple priorities and doing a poor job at all of them. Suspect it’s time to call it a day and move onto the gym and such………