Status: hungover. sorta, kinda in a place where I can do some writing, but not really. Fussed around with selecting a photo to post from the catalogue and then gave up because I couldn’t find anything I liked, not to mention that I couldn’t find the right caption to pair with the photo or with what’s been happening over the last few days.
And what’s been happening? Well, not alot of writing, that’s what.
This interaction has taken center stage and pushed everything else to the side. I thought I was done with this modus operandi, but perhaps not. I specifically remember telling myself that The Mission is the most important thing and that I wasn’t interested in a romantic partner distracting me from the things that I want to do, the things which are fulfilling and important to me.
But, life happens when you are busy making plans. Time spent with M has escalated drastically over the last few days. We have only two weeks left before I move onto The Next Chapter and we’re trying to make the most of the little time we have left together. This has resulted in us spending most of Sunday night together, all of Monday afternoon and night when she slept over, and then date night last night for dinner, drinks and another sleepover.
So, we’ve seen quite a lot of each other over the last few days, and I couldn’t be happier.
There is still quite alot to process – it’s moving so quickly that I’m barely able to keep up with it. Including how I feel about this, and about her. But, maybe the best place to start is the Thank You note I sent to M on Monday morning after our Sunday outing:
“Hey M, I had alot of fun as well. I was going to write up a proper thank you later on when I wasn’t wearing my sleepy face, but where words fail I hope actions do my thoughts justice.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for last night; that’s a special memory which I’ll carry with me always. You made me feel like a very special person, and for that I can’t thank you enough.
But I’m going to try.”
I was almost in tears when writing this on Monday morning, and perhaps that’s all I really need to know. I don’t need to overthink this; the simple truth is that she has touched me in a way that very few people have, and I’m grateful for that.
More to come……..
The camera equipment has been sold in its entirety and the buyer will collect the whole pack next week, just before I leave. Closing the chapter on this aspect of myself feels strange, almost like I’m giving away a piece of myself which I use for self expression. I’ll be voiceless in the interim, but will pick it up again once I am settled back on the island and am in a position to source some new, better equipment. Which is likely going to happen by the end of the summer.
This is actually distressing me a little bit more than I thought. This avenue through which I express myself has become an important part of me and my wellbeing……..I didn’t realise that until just now.