I learned that people can easily forget that others are human.
Status: grotty. still. propping myself up with Aspirin and such again this morning. could barely get through the meditation ritual this morning, and I now I’m sitting here in a cold, clammy sweat trying to eek out a few words for this blog. Because, you know, OCD and such.
Getting together with M this evening. Entertaining the thought of bailing on the date because, you know, I’m finally admitting that I’m sick. Which is probably the responsible thing to do, but given time is growing short I don’t want to waste any opportunities.
Honestly indifferent about the whole thing right now, I just want to get a good night’s sleep because I’ve slept very poorly over the last few nights, which is par for the course.
M is adventurous, which is why I like her. But, maybe she’s a little too adventurous. It’s obvious to me that she’s trying to fill a hole inside of her with these little adventures, but it’s not apparent what created the hole. Based upon what she told me about her home life, it seems pretty normal to me. But it’s clear that our dysfunctions are compatible, it’s just a dysfunction I’ve not seen before. Maybe all will reveal itself in due course.
On that note, she hit me up with a chlamydia scare yesterday. Apparently a fella she had been seeing recently and then kicked to the curb before we met called her yesterday morning and told her that he had chlamydia and that she needed to get tested. I received a very panicked text from her explaining the situation and also that she’d been tested between seeing the two of us and that the results were negative. She also said that I was the only person she’d been with since having the test, so chances were good that I was clean.
I mean, she honestly didn’t really need to tell me. She opted to get retested, just in case, and she could have waited until the results were completed before taking the next step which would be based upon whether or not it was positive or negative. From the timeline she gave me, the chances of me being infected were low, maybe zero.
In any case, I sat on the news for few hours so I could process it. I mean, I was a willing participant in sleeping with her and therefore bear some responsibility. Added to that is the speed with which she advised me, knowing that it could potentially damage our budding relationship and that I may opt to not see her again, and the timeline meant I wasn’t really at risk. So, there was no reason to be a dick about it and add more stress to an already stressful situation.
If the circumstances were different, I might have made a different choice, but in this instance I decided to lead with forgiveness. That’s something I don’t do very often, and I it’s something I should do more going forward.
In any case, I got tested for STIs this afternoon, which I needed to do anyway, so there really wasn’t any skin off my nose.
And that’s how we roll today….tomorrow may be a different story.