Lazy

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Status: Lazy.

It’s almost 8:30, which is the end of my day, and I’m just starting to do some writing. I told myself I was going to review and edit the Weaver short story today, but instead spent the bulk of it doing admin work and some photography.

Ok.

I actually finished processing the photos from the 27th, and then loaded the pictures from the 29th, 30th and 31st. Processed a few of these and then got overstimulated, so took a quick break which turned into an hour on YT before I got back to it. Finally gave up at 9am because I was having a hard time focusing; too many choices and I was hating every photo I took, so had to set it aside.

The afternoon was the usual struggle to get back into the flow, but when I finally did settle down I was able to clear off the budget/finance tasks, and also closed a few items from the task list. Sussed a chiropracter and made an appointment, booked a couple of models for next week, advised a contact of the impending move and booked a catch-up lunch, and then followed up with the broker for a quote on the books.

Oh, and I did laundry.

So, I guess it was productive, but I still didn’t do the thing I wanted to do: write.

And then I made a tactical error.

Backed up my hard drive, but did the data transfer in reverse, which means I lost all of the work I had done this afternoon.

Smack my fucking head = SMFH times 2.

And that sent me into a downward spiral of self-loathing and self-flaggelation. Which doesn’t help. Briefly thought about the lessons I’ve learned from the meditation book; that I should accept the situation, lean into it and forgive myself, but that’s not what I wanted. Punishment was the choice I made.

As penance, rather than close out my day with a little Netflix-and-chill, I’ve decided that I’m going to complete all of the re-work before I go to sleep.

So, not a great day. Need to work on the forgiveness aspect and also my focus and prioritisation. The monkey mind pulls me aside way too easily…..

Alright, let’s get on with it…

 

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