Procrastination and YouTube

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Status: good. I don’t feel bad. actually, I feel better today than I have over the last few days. Procrastinating heavily this morning and hating everything that I’m creating right now. Anxious about The Next Chapter. Distracting myself from these two bits of unpleasantness by immersing myself in entertaining YouTube videos. Was informed about something called the MOMO challenge this morning. Immediately hated myself for watching it afterwards which then kicked off a downward spiral of self-loathing, which then lead to more procrastination, which led to another YouTube video. This one from a YT “celebrity” telling me about a NYT article on the correlation between money and happiness, or lack thereof. Now I really hate myself and regret watching it, which is leading me to…………

STOP.

BREATHE.

FOCUS.

Writing.

As soon as I got up this morning, I started the summary page for The Patriot short story. I’m going to finish that today. It’s just one page. I know the story. Time to put it down on paper. Once that is completed then the first draft is done and I can start looking for ways to submit it to publishers.

Settled on a title for the Death short story. Amended the ending slightly to remove repetitive narrative. I’m going to research editors and then send it off for review. I’m willing to spend a little bit of money to have that done. I’m going to take my time and find the right one for me. Being comfortable is key.

Career.

Apparently NTB is still in play. It was quiet for two weeks, but they still have an open position which they are trying to fill, and it’s located in jurisdictions which are more attractive options than the one with BFM. If I’m going to take a job that doesn’t really excite me then at the very least I’d rather it be in place where I’ll be happy. They still have a few hurdles to clear before I’ll know for sure, so we’ll see how this plays out.

The BFM opportunity which I accepted has a start date of 2.5 months from now and I need to begin handing in notices and making arrangements to relocate. Made a half-hearted attempt to begin that process yesterday and then quickly gave up. I’m going to have to white-knuckle it because it’s quite obvious that my subconscious is telling me not to do it. That speaks volumes about my interest in going through with this, but I just need to tough it out and get it done.

Ok, let’s get on with it…..

 

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