The Struggle

20181202-DSC_0071But I have infinite tenderness for you. I always will.

Status: embracing the sickness and feeling grotty with a head full of cotton. I can’t guarantee that this is completely due to the cold and may also be the result of a poor night’s sleep.

I haven’t hit my word quota for today and instead opted to numb myself with YouTube videos this morning, and then hated myself afterwards for doing it. Nothing accompanies being sick like a little bit of self-loathing. I’m going to sound like a bit of a broken record, but if I’m not serious about my writing, then I need to put it down and focus on something else.

I’m honestly losing a little bit of patience with my inability to sit down and just get on with it. Better yet, I’m getting frustrated with my inability to understand WHY I don’t sit down and just get on with it. There has to be more to it than the self punishment aspect, I don’ hate myself that much.

In any case, while I couldn’t focus on the creative writing, I did complete another item on my task list which leaves me with the photography projects as the last item on the list (I have four separate projects contained within one line item). I reached out to a select few people in my network, so let’s see what kind of response I get. And for a bonus round, I’ve also sent two general applications to a couple of companies for consideration.

I’ve also been called in for a third interview, which I expected would happen, and we’ve scheduled that for tomorrow. Truthfully, I wanted to postpone it to the end of the week in hopes that I could drag it into the New Year, but I had second thoughts and just decided to get it out of the way. And I think that speaks volumes about my interest in this position. In any case, let’s see how this plays out.

Onward and upward…….

Nikon D3400
1/100 sec
f/5.6
36mm
ISO 100

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