Yorkville

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What difference does it make how much you have? What you do not have amounts to much more.

Status: there’s something about working on a Saturday which doesn’t sit well with me. And if this feels like work is it something I really want to continue doing?

I’ve hit a roadblock in the story and I’m not sure what happens next. Fully admit that I’m letting it intimidate me and I’m procrastinating with other things so I don’t have to face it. This is something I’m not great at: when I don’t know how to start The Next Thing, I become listless. Not sure exactly how to get around that one. Mark Manson described how he just started doing something, anything, and the momentum and encouragement from that start brought things into focus and allowed him to power through it.

Perhaps that’s the best way to do it.

I’m sitting on my response to the initial offer provided by the insurance company yesterday. I’ve already told them that I’m “travelling” until the 3rd and therefore I may be a little slow to respond until then. I think this speaks volumes about my interest in the role.

The practical choice is to take the job and engage with it as best I can. It’s a good job, with good compensation and growth potential. I’m covering old ground with this role, but that might not be a bad thing – I can ease myself into it with the familiarity of the landscape. It’ll also give me some breathing room by providing another source of income and giving me additional time to work on the things I really want to do.

I’ll mull it over a bit more, but I think that’s the smart play…..

Nikon D3400
1/30 sec
f/3.5
18mm
ISO 400

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Procrastination

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Be proud of who you are, and not ashamed of how someone else sees you. 

Status: procrastinating heavily. The Christmas holiday really knocked my train off the tracks. I’m not only feeling sluggish, but also allowing just about everything to distract me.

Suspect that I should lower expectations and just focus on pushing out a few words. A little stuck with the progression of the story – not sure what happens next. I think I’ll just clear my mind and do a brain dump. Hopefully something useful will come out of it.

I mean, I do enjoy the process of writing, right? RIGHT?! I’m looking at you, man in the mirror. Not sure why I allow myself to become intimidated by the story. Just relax, let it flow. Focus on the things which get you into the flow of writing, like this journal.

So, I finally connected with my second network contact yesterday. Good conversation, he has something for me in Halifax. I’m due to speak with the MD of that office in the New Year and we’ll see if we can make this work. Not sure exactly what the position will be, but I think he intimated that salary level may be lower than I’m used to. Could be reading too much into this, but let’s not set expectations too high and we’ll pick this up next week.

Job offer looks imminent from the insurance company. They’ve started discussing salary to see if it’s a good fit. So, not a firm offer, but as long as we can agree on compensation levels then that should be the last hurdle before receiving an offer. Initial exploratory compensation pitch is not bad, but I think I can push them to offer more. To be honest, part of me doesn’t want the job, so I have no issue with approaching it like I have nothing to lose. This might not be the smart play; it’s a good opportunity, I think I should just land it and use it as an interim stepping stone to The Next Thing.

Whatever that shall be………

Nikon D3400
1/100 sec
f/16
38mm
ISO 100

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Even More Christmas

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Status: dragging my feet, so it must be Monday. The instant gratification monkey is distracting me this morning, which means I’m not getting on with it.

In any case, I did complete one of the photography projects over the weekend and started post-processing the photos from the completed projects last week. All in all, I have quite a few usable pictures from the last few sessions including some really nice slow shutter speed blur motion captures of the train in the subway. Topped that off with some really nice pictures of a couple of musicians playing Christmas tunes in one of the shopping centres. So, progress.

Carousing around town on Saturday night, stopped into one of the chain restaurants because I hadn’t done any prior planning for the really nice ones. Keep forgetting how they view their frontline staff as salespeople and how they’re trained to engage and relate to customers in order to win their loyalty and keep them coming back. Fair enough, it’s good business to do this. Got quite a bit of attention from one of the female bartenders who saw the camera and kicked off a conversation about photography which ended with a, “you’ll have to show me more of your photographs next time”.

That immediately started me thinking about going back to the restaurant. Well played. I mean, the attention is appreciated and I do like the engagement, but I’m a little bit uncomfortable with being manipulated. You’re playing off my natural instincts to connect with attractive woman in order to drive sales.

I’ll probably go back there in a couple of weeks.

Nikon D3400
1/100 sec
f/3.5
18mm
ISO 1600

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More Christmas

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More Christmas. I love this time of year.

Status: Slept 12 hours last night. Feeling much better. I think I need to get out-and-about tonight; good food, good wine and a celebratory beverage or two are in order. Feel the need to go on a date, but I’ve been pretty hermetic over the last 6 months, so have no prospects in play which means I’ll be travelling solo. Not a problem, that’s how I usually roll.

I had a really good week for writing. Total word count for the seven days, last Saturday to yesterday (Friday), was 3,514 words; 4,265 if you count last Friday. Split between journaling at 1,521 and the short story itself at 1,993. My goal was 2,500 words for the short story, or 500 per day, but I came pretty close during my first real week of this, so I’m going to call it a win. Total short story word count for the eight days is 2,544 and the total number of words in the story is 3,065. My goal is to finish the first draft at 7,000 words, and I’ll aim to do that next week.

Next up: call with my second network contact postponed to Monday, he has an opportunity in Halifax, looking forward to hearing more about it. Call with my first network contact will take place in the New Year, need to firm up the call time. I’m expecting to receive an offer from the company which interviewed me for a third time on Wednesday; thought I might have it by Friday which is giving me second thoughts, perhaps I misread this. No matter though, let’s see how it plays out.

Nikon D3400
1/60 sec
f/3.5
18mm
ISO 1600

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Christmas

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Christmas.

Status: Good. Ok. Cold lingering, but zen and chill.

I’m not convinced that the meditation is actually helping me anymore. I’m basically drifting for 5 minutes while I go through the guided meditation app, and I think that defeats the purpose. It’s supposed to help me focus, or at least I’m supposed to be focusing on specific things while going through the process and that’s meant to strengthen my ability to be present in the moment during the day. But, not so much. Have I seen some improvement? Yes. So, two choices: set it to the side or lean into it and take the next step. Suspect that I’ll do the latter.

Decided to get back onto the dating apps after a 6 month absence. Realise that it is not the optimal time of year for this, but it felt right and I was ready. Connected with one lady and we quickly agreed to meet for a coffee and chat last night. In the course of finalising plans, she didn’t like the venue I had suggested so she proceeded to be antagonistic and rude. Trying to draw me into conflict. I thought I handled it quite well; I didn’t take the bait, I stayed polite and chill in the face of some really rude texts, and then wished her all the best and luck with her search. A parting barb of invective from her to which I did not respond.

Maybe the meditation is helping after all.

Nikon D3400
1/100 sec
f/3.5
18mm
ISO 1600

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Daydreaming

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When I dream, I dream I am beautiful.

Status: still recovering. Awake at 3am, but forced myself to stay in bed until the alarm. Dragging my feet as a result. Seem to have more bad mornings than good ones. Perhaps I need a perspective shift?

Book buyer responded to my counter offer with the sound of violins playing in the distance. The problem is that he’s likely right. Need a little time to mull it over. Part of me says, “just take it, it’s a sunk cost and something is better than nothing. Besides, lugging that pack back home and then shopping it around is probably not worth the time and effort.” The other more stubborn part of me says, “I’d rather burn the books than let this guy significantly profit off me.” Guess I’m just insulted by the offer, especially for the older books, and I don’t enjoy being treated like I’m stupid. Will mull it over and decide on what’s practical.

Third interview yesterday. Strange. Seemed like a rehash of the previous two. Covered items that we had discussed previously. Appreciate that the video call allowed them to see me in person versus just hearing me over the phone, and maybe that’s all it needed to be. Expect that I’ll know by the end of the week if they want to proceed. Curious about compensation, which hasn’t been discussed to date. They’re the only ones who have tackled compensation late in the process, everyone else has touched on that up front – a tactic to save time and/or disqualify candidates who are going to be too expensive.

Second network contact reached out yesterday, so that makes two responses out of three. Good batting average. Potential opportunity in Halifax, however was advised that this is not a perfect fit. Due to speak this afternoon, so let’s see how this progresses…..

Nikon D3400
1/30 sec
f/5.6
27mm
ISO 100

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Seizing Opportunities

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Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens.

Status: feeling better. Slept ok. Awake before the alarm went off at 5am, but decided to lounge for the last 30 mins and wait for the alarm. If you can call 4:30am lounging.

Ventured out into the early morning cold this morning to complete one of my photography projects. The world looks much different at that time of the morning, and was way busier (at 6am) than I expected. Dead surprised to see a trio walking down the road eating freshly made pizza out of a pizza box at that time of the morning. I actually smelled the pizza before I saw them. Were they starting their day or just ending their evening? What pizza place is open and serving piping hot fare at that time of the morning? Suspect that I’ll never know the answer to these questions.

Quote came back for the books. I can’t tell if the buyer was being serious or just taking the piss. I assumed the latter and submitted a counter offer, pulling all of the more valuable books from consideration. I don’t need to sell all of them, just enough of them to lighten the load for travelling and the number of items really worth something is small in number, so I can afford to hold onto them for now.

Heard back from one of my contacts overnight. Better response than expected and we’ll connect in the New Year, which is reasonable. I’m not really expecting much to come from this, but planting the seed now may bear fruit later on which I think is a much more realistic expectation.

Third interview this afternoon. We’ll see if an offer follows the discussion. Shouldn’t count my chickens before they hatch, but it certainly feels like this may be the case. The next question is: do I really want it?

It’s looking like a productive day.

Nikon D3400
1/30 sec
f/3.5
18mm
ISO 100

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