Status: surrounded by music, in deep conversation with myself.
Saw this quote recently: “My alone feels so good, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude.” – Warsan Shire
I spend so much time focusing on my solitude as an abnormal state of being that I never (rarely) stop to think that maybe there is nothing wrong with being this way. This is optimal for me, so why feel bad about it?
“Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind.” – Seneca
If I’m being honest, my aim is pretty scattershot. I feel like I’m just spinning my wheels and not making much progress. And more importantly, not focusing on the important things while allowing myself to become distracted way too easily. Procrastination is an enemy, actually it seems to be something I’m embracing as a form of self-flagellation. This is ingrained behaviour and is proving to be a difficult habit to break. Borderline OCD to the point of it becoming ritualised and therefore a perceived necessity in order to achieve a balanced, “normal” sense of being. I need to replace these rituals with something more productive, but what?
In the meantime, the search for the next job opportunity continues. I really don’t want to go back to that corporate life, but at the same time it may be the best option in order to protect my downside while I sort the rest of it out.
“The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.” – Epictetus
Today came almost completely off the rails. Didn’t quite get done all I wanted to do, and spent too much time on Muted Tones/Dark and Moody Lightroom tutorials only to discover that my LR settings were better than anything I was able to glean from YT.
Suspect that this means I’m becoming more comfortable with using Lightroom and can now process/edit my own photos without having to rely on other people’s presets.
Ok, I’ll take that as a step forward for the win. Maybe today wasn’t such a write off after all.
Might’ve stepped on this one just a little bit too much. Next up, studying colour and contrasts. Don’t really understand how these, uh, peacefully coexist within a picture in order to create a pleasing aesthetic and also tell a story. Prefer not to wing it going forward.
On that note, it’s almost time to move onto the next thing. I’m not gaining much traction on the current tack and think that I should take advantage of the open sea to chart a new course.
I originally saw this as a colour photo and not B&W – there’s a collection of red balloons caught in the rafters which I thought created a nice contrasting aesthetic to the background, which is very grey, especially on this particularly overcast day. But, it just didn’t work. The vision I could see in my mind was not congruent with the end result on paper, so I had to adapt. It just looked so much better as a B&W – it told me it would look better as a B&W.
Therein lies the lesson – actively listen, I mean really hear what’s being presented to you, and then respond to it. Adapt. Overcome.
More muted tones. I’ve been bumping my head against the limitations of my current rig and thinking about upgrading, and then I see this. A musician with the most well worn gear which is in dire need of replacement, who then proceeds to make the most beautiful music with it. A poor workman blames his tools. More practice for me.