Gratitude Journal – Post 15

Standing on the balcony this morning at 6am I could hear birds chirping in the distance. Spring is on the way.

I set the alarm for 5am this morning. The plan was to get up and just ‘Do It’. Clear my mind, don’t over think it and basically white-knuckle it. I’ve done that through most of my career, and while a little painful, it has been effective. None of this hippy-bullshit on how to win the day by starting it with meditation and affirmations and exogenous ketone spiked green tea, just strap on the boots and get it done.

Truthfully, I’m just sick of procrastinating and using it as a form of self-flagellation. I’m aware that this is a manifestation of my fear of the task and wanting it to be perfect on the first go-around, which is unrealistic. I also have this idea in my head that the act of doing it is not going to be as good as the thought of doing it – I can daydream about it and gain some pleasure from that thought. If I do it then I lose that little bit of pleasure. Yes, that’s a bit self-indulgent and short sighted. Mostly short sighted and an inability to delay gratification. I’ll gain much more gratification and fulfilment from actually doing it.

And experience. I need the experience.

All that said, let’s be grateful for something this morning:

The interview with RenRe went better than expected. I wasn’t successful, but it was a good conversation, gave me more experience interviewing and selling myself, and it got me in front of hiring managers/decision makers which is a good thing that could yet bear fruit. Ultimately, I’m going to hit on one of these eventually and each interview I have leading up to that final one will better prepare me for the opportunity.

Ok, let’s get on with it………..


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